Volume 11, Issue 4
When we coach lawyers and other professionals we are often asked what sets great rainmakers apart from the pack. What we’ve found is that successful rainmakers are innately curious. Their curiosity leads them into relationships and opportunities that generally pay huge rewards over time.
We all know people who, upon meeting them, have a way of putting us at ease. We may even walk away from an encounter thinking we had a great conversation with them and realize we don’t know much about them. What sets them apart? They enjoy learning from others and they’re always asking questions and wondering about things. This attitude, or way of thinking, is genuine and is also a powerful advantage in building deeper relationships.
Great litigators are especially curious as they prepare for trial-digging and looking for facts to “win” their case. They realize they must be thoroughly prepared before entering the courtroom. One very good strategy employed by most lawyers, and virtually all litigators, is to “never ask a question you don’t know the answer to.” Unfortunately, it is the rare lawyer who is able to break from that strategy outside the courtroom. We’d see a lot more lawyers who are great rainmakers if they could.
Human beings are all born curious. That’s why children are always exploring and asking questions. When we work with clients we ask them if they find people naturally interesting. Many haven’t even thought about it. Unfortunately, that natural childhood curiosity gets suppressed as we grow up-the school system beats most of it out of us and our jobs finish it off. We face all sorts of barriers that keep us from being curious: lack of free time, emphasis on billable work, the pressure to always be right and never appear like we don’t know what we’re talking about. Eventually we lose our curiosity and the ability to learn spontaneously-the very traits that make great rainmakers so effective.
Curiosity Reaps Rewards
Imagine the benefits you would experience if you were to revive your curiosity, especially the increased information and improved relationships that could reinvigorate your practice. Though curiosity isn’t billable, it can help you gain billable work six months or a year into your future.
One of our clients found herself in a situation with a client who was a former real estate broker and a “tough nut to crack.” She didn’t expect him to open up, but when she asked a high energy feedback question about his assistant-someone who has been with him for 15 years and has moved from company to company with him-she also learned about his full career history. One question asked out of curiosity can strike a chord with another person, encouraging them to open up. In the process, the relationship is improved and you have more information than you did before.
Another benefit of curiosity is that it can lead us down unexpected and exciting paths. One of our clients expressed to his coach his childhood dream of getting his pilot’s license. When the coach probed into this, the client’s passion was obvious. By our next session, his re-ignited curiosity had led him to find a flight school training program, enroll in the training, and in the end, he got his pilot’s license in record time. In addition, following through on his childhood dream reinvigorated his practice and his passion for practicing law. Rather than suppressing his curiosity about flight, this individual allowed it to take him on an unexpected yet rewarding journey. And he’s thrilled he did.
One caveat worth mentioning: try to avoid using your curiosity for self-serving ends. Recently, a lawyer friend of mine had observed a situation in which many law firms find themselves. She was at an event where two of her partners had the opportunity to talk with a prospective client. Partner A had known the client for some time and focused on asking him about “deals.” Partner B-a former in-house attorney himself-was meeting the client for the first time; he asked about the client’s business, how he handled specific situations, and what kept him up at night. Consequently, the client became very engaged in the conversation with Partner B. After the event, it was evident that adding Partner B to the team courting this client would be beneficial. Partner A refused to do this, and actually slowed the relationship building process with this prospective client. As is evident from this example, curiosity is genuine and engaging when it stems from “being of service” rather than being motivated by just “getting business.”
Be Intentional With Your Curiosity
Many times lawyers will tell us they can’t or aren’t comfortable “asking questions” of their friends or clients because they’ll be perceived as “selling” something. But asking questions-especially thoughtful high energy, open-ended questions about another person’s work, life, hobbies-shows you are interested in them. When you’re curious about another person, your high energy questions and feedback questions will bubble up naturally.
Stifling our natural curiosity actually takes more energy than expressing it. You will find that when you are intentional with your curiosity you will ask high energy questions that serve you well. The responses are bound to be interesting and enjoyable, even fun. And when it’s fun, you’ll indulge your curiosity more often…and almost surely reinvigorate your practice. You may even become reinvigorated about life.
Curiosity doesn’t cost a dime, takes no training, and can be implemented immediately. What’s holding you back from engaging curiosity? What would you like to know about a client but have been too preoccupied to ask? Try re-igniting your curiosity today. Plan your high energy questions and get back on track to reinvigorating your practice.
Copyright 2008 Mark M. Maraia Associates